| fresh to death, ya'll |
[05 Jan 2008|12:28am] |
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music |
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true love's kiss |
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i created a new livejournal! username: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) at_onepoint
I'm gonna go ahead and add some of ya'll. if i don't, it's probably because i 1) assume you don't go on to read anything anymore 2) got lazy and abducted by aliens (get it? a..leigh..ann...HAHAHHAHAHAHA wow i'm lame!)
i've had this curi0uslystr0ng for way too long. it's time to start new, to start fresh. oh 2008, what have you got in store for us?
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| it's been a while. |
[19 Dec 2007|02:03am] |
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the clock ticking |
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anak took this quiz so i wanted to take it too! wheee!!
Your view on yourself: Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you. Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
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This sounds about right. Kind of creepy....I don't know when it happened exactly but I don't really show my true self to many people anymore. Maybe it's because of how people tend to abuse the privileges of friendship. I've become very LESS trusting of everyone around me, and I barely if ever really just speak up unless someone asks me about what I think. For the most part, I come off really happy and giggly but I have become more silent, listening to what other people have to say, and trying to see if I agree and wondering what my true feelings are on particular subjects. My buddies in SB are awesome, but the truth of the matter is no one over there really knew how i was in high school, or even before that! And as for high school buddies, who are awesome as well ;), haha well...no one really knows how much I've changed. SO MANY of my views have changed in college. Views that I once held sacred are now frivolous, and views that I did believe in have also become more strengthened and enforced. I have never been a partier, though I have tried it once in a while, and some times I did have fun. Talk about overrated. I would MUCH rather just sit around my butt with girlfriends talking about our emotions, and my, how I absolutely find delight in reading novels. Truly. Reading is SO MUCH FUN and it just opens up this entire new world that my imagination delves into. I don't know if I told many people about this, but inside my mind are countless stories that I wish I could put into paper but I feel like my vocabulary isn't impressive enough. I remember when I was young, Kristina and I would write love stories in our notebooks then share it with each other LOL hahahha o good times
I don't draw anymore. I don't write anymore. I don't sing anymore. All of those were passions I had when growing up. But I do read a lot more. I reason instead of depend on my emotions much more. I laugh a lot and can't wait to travel the world (I really want to visit the Middle East and see the places where Jesus did His ministry and was born)
High school came with tons of drama, and now that I'm in college, drama isn't even a worry. I'm just chillin' and trying to find out new things about myself and others around me.
As for me and my goals for going into Law school, many of my friends over here and in sb say they CAN and CAN'T see me going through with it. But the truth of the matter is I really don't care. I mean, I don't have a SPECIFIC passion--besides Jesus and chillin' with friends and forming bonds. The Jesus part is kind of complicated too, because ever since I left Catholicism behind I don't really have a (Christian) church yet. And it's really scary for me, to venture out there by myself. Most people have the convenience of having a church where their family goes to regularly. I would really like to just be known as me, by myself, instead of as someone's extension. So how can I become more involved with a church when I don't have one?
Also, I am VERY into financial stability. Growing up was hellish to say the least, and I remember how it all was. The divorce sucked, and I would never let my children go through that crap ever--financially and emotionally. But I really don't have a passion for anything else--i HATE Science and Math, rule out anything having to do with engineering or medicine. And I wouldn't want to be a nurse either, not only because of the Filipino stereotype...I've just met so many people who do the job of taking care of the sick only because of the money. It just doesn't seem right. No wonder there are so many cases against malpractice-people ALWAYS do a better job when they are passionate about what they are doing. For people who really care about being nurses, more power to all of them! It makes me rest easier at night knowing there are people who put their heart into their work. As for English, it's cool but it's not something that makes my heart beat faster. Maybe it was the 8th grade english football that did it for me-no more grammatically incorrect sentences will be headed my way...well, actually I'm wrong. Law has a lot to do with word precision. But at least i'm not hating it haha Law just seems practical, and respectable, and professional. It doesn't seem like something I would hate either. And I'm planning on specializing with the Elderly. There are so many instances where they are taken advantage of by different businesses and just people in general, AND THAT MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL! Old people are so vulnerable! Why would anyone ever take advantage of them?? ERRRRRRRRRRRGH....Well, I can honestly say that the elderly have always held a special part in my heart. Maybe it has to do with the visits my dad would make to the retirement homes and the old ladies who would shower all their love on me by giving me chocolates hehehe...but it mostly has to do with my grandparents. People nowadays tend to overlook the need of those who looked after us for so long.
I need to sleep. And I also need to find something red, green, or cream to wear for the Christmas pics the gals are takin' tomorrow. Unfortunately, I don't have anything in any of those colors. I might end up wearing something really ugly/tacky/vomit-enducing...uh oh. This looks like it could get messy.
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[22 May 2007|03:46pm] |
| | there are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. afraid, confused, without a road map. the choices we make in those moments define the rest of our days. of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. but once in a while, people push on to something better. something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. when it gives someone a second chance. something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. and it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. the person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, and faith, and belief. Beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.- One Tree Hill |
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| mushy |
[22 May 2007|03:45pm] |
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something i just happened to read from someone else's blog...
two years ago i had a hard time looking at you cuz when you looked at me, i only imagined that your picturing some girl who just cant let go, you were that boy that walked into the room and at the first glance i took, i knew that somehow you would change my life and i didnt know how, and i didnt know why, but all i knew was that something was bound to happen. then ...something did. and i knew and he knew at that very moment that things would never be the same cuz we both brought out a side of each other that no one has ever seen before and here i am...2 years later and still remembering the day when the first guy that i fell in love with, changed me.
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| waiting for what? |
[15 May 2007|11:30pm] |
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held-natalie grant |
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Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
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| HAHAHAHA |
[26 Apr 2007|02:49am] |
The best of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts:
5. Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
4. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
3. Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
2. Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?!
1. Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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| He said to me |
[20 Apr 2007|03:52am] |
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mood |
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living is being content with who you are and where you're at
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| courage. |
[19 Apr 2007|12:55am] |
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At the Holocaust Memorial Museum Wednesday, President Bush paid tribute to Professor Liviu Librescu, a Holocaust survivor who taught at Virginia Tech for 20 years. Librescu saved the lives of several students by using his body to block a classroom door while students fled to safety. He died Monday, which coincided with Holocaust Remembrance Day. "On the day of remembrance, this Holocaust survivor gave his own life so that others may live. And this morning, we honor his memory and we take strength from his example," Bush said at the Holocaust memorial.
I cannot believe that there are people out there, who are my age, who are so young, who go out and shoot innocent victims in high schools and in colleges. and not feel any freaking remorse....I feel so bad for the families and friends of the victims who passed away. If I had a loved one in that school, I don't know how I'd react...
That professor has an amazing legacy. I read that article and am just grateful people like that exist. Hopefully I'll have the courage to do something that selfless if the occasion ever comes about. But it's hard to remember the goodness when such evil exists in this world.
This is SO SCARY. What if it happens at SB? or Irvine? or Fullerton? I don't know. How can anyone feel safe anymore? What will happen when I have children and send them off to school??
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| friendship. |
[24 Feb 2007|06:04pm] |
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happy |
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music |
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sweetest escape |
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"find the friends that you know you can count on.. the ones who dont judge you.. the ones you can fall asleep with at the end of the night.. the ones that know you inside and outside.. the ones that would drive to you in a heart beat when times get rough .. and the ones that know when to back off when your just not in the mood..
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| RIBBIT. RIBBIT. a froggy rant. |
[31 Jan 2007|10:48pm] |
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i've never been more afraid of frogs in my entire life.........
there's this lagoon nearby my friend's dorm, and i can swear i almost stepped on approximately 20+ baby frogs the other night. i know it was 20+ because i COUNTED! you think those little dots are rocks or leaves...NOPE. they're baby frogs, jumping randomly and sometimes just standing still whenever you approach, like cockroaches!!
supposedly, since it's been raining, the frogs have been going at it for the last 3 days. frogs mate for 7 days straight, horny bastards! HOLY CRAP and they are SO loud!!!! it's a GIANT ORGY of frogs AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! and my friend said he couldn't sleep the other night because of it HAHAHA...poor guy...i understand that animals have to mate. BUT GEEZ
...i had to walk by tthat swampy area by myself in the middle of the night and i was terrified that they'd all jump out and eat me...i never walk by that area anymore, even though it's a shortcut :'(
i've never been more thankful to live far away from campus. i can't stand the croaking of those froggies!! GAH!!!
i'm sorry kermit, but i only like you when ur with miss piggy.........................
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| too much stress |
[19 Jan 2007|10:02pm] |
So...people are and have been running around and getting information about housing next year...checking out houses and apartments..honestly, i haven't done anything. i just assumed that i'd be living in a dorm on campus next year....
I've been invited to live with other people a couple of times but I decided that i"ll be living in a house next year with 7 other buddies .and i'm not kidding, i decided all this in the last 5 hours !!! CRAZY!!!! it's crazy cool too because we're on first priority so once we get our information in, the house is fo' sho ours.
more updates later.
my head really hurts :(
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[19 Jan 2007|02:42am] |
i'm finally....
happy here...
who woulda thunk??? :)
16 units this quarter for me.
all my classes start at 1 p.m.
and some run into the night time (skaaayyy-reeee)
but i have no class on tuesdays (woohoo!!!)
AACF is really doing wonders for me.
and i love my new roommate.
PS-I won' t be returning home for another month...a whole month and a half of not being at home???? that's INSANE!!! can't believe i went home so much during fall quarter. kinda ridiculous. but i really needed to go back, back then. I'm so glad i moved dorms. this really does make a big difference in my college life WOO!
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| GOODBYE 2006!!!! AND GOOD RIDDANCE!!! |
[05 Jan 2007|08:46pm] |
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optimistic |
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play feat chris-i'm gonna make u loove me |
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hello 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whoohooo!!!! haha New Years was ghetto!!!!!
it was basically Joan and me dancing around. The minute before the clock struck 12, all of us started screaming in each other's faces and banging pots and rattlin' around change. SOO FUNNY hhaha that's how it goes every year (most of the time)
being home was really nice, but now it is time...to go back to my home away from home! i'm so glad that i didn't go through with the transfer application to UCI....SB ain't so bad! only thing is i wish i could create tight bonds with friends over there, the way i already did with high school friends. bah! oh well, takes time!
so many things happened in 2006. holy crap, lots and lots and lots of things! great things, horrible things.....more bad than good, to be completely honest. and some of it is still being transferred over to this year, and i don't know what to do about it. i wish i could help. all i can do is pray. i wonder what my family's life will be like next year? my brother is becoming bolakbol now. haha. he's becoming like me! i wish i was closer to my mom, but she's so busy and tired. single-mom life with three kids. sometimes i wish i could just lie down next to her and talk. as for my dad, i swear i am on a time limit of 1 minute each time i'm on the phone with him. why the heck is he always in such a hurry? SPEAKING OF PHONES, MY PHONE IS TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED!!! WHAT THE HECK!!! so sad...i can't make any calls but i can still receive calls, which makes no sense haha
i've lost touch with a few friends who i considered myself close to, but they never tried half as hard as i did to keep in touch. and i really tried too! i just stopped trying in return. finally. i'm so relieved i can finally let go. thank God!!!! it used to hurt my feelings so much if my efforts were never equally matched. now i could care less, and focus my energies on friends who care.
i met up with a lot of friends throughout break and strengthened my bonds with them. i LOVE that. how i can not talk to friends for a few days, weeks, months, whatever, and still continue on where we left off. i just wish i saw zerah more. i barely got to see her.
i'm going to be freakin' sad leaving brandon too. having a long distance relationship sucks HAHA i mean, of course it's easier seeing each other every single day, or having the option of. but we have our breaks, and our summers. so that's good :) counting by blessings!
i hope everyone had a great new years! and a merry christmas!
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| there is a solution to this. |
[31 Dec 2006|09:57am] |
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music |
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josh groban-you are loved |
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Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When you’re heart’s heavy I’ll - I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you I’ll – I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside I – I’ll be there to find you
Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I – I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
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| nomo |
[08 Dec 2006|09:59am] |
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music |
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rainbow-southborder |
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Fallin out fallin in
Nothings sure in this world no no
Breaking down breaking in
Never knowing what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no no
Say goodbye say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we could never understand
Why some things begin with just love
We can never have it all
No no no ohh
But oh, can’t you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
And so baby just smile
Coz I’m always around you
And I’ll make you see
How beautiful life is for you and me
*Take a little time baby
See the butterflies’ colors
Listen to the birds that sent to sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to me
Even if there is pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There’s a rainbow always after the rain*
Hittin high hittin low
Win or lose you should go
Yeah yeah
Getting warm getting cold
Weather can be so good or bad
But baby this is life so don’t get mad
No no no
Coz ohh
Can’t you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
And so baby just smile
Coz I’m always around you
And I’ll make you see
How beautiful is life for you and me
Life’s full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don’t despair my dear
But don’t despair my dear
You’ll take it each trial
And you’ll make it through the storm
Coz you’re strong
My faith in you is clear
So I say once again
This world’s beautiful
Let us celebrate life that is so beautiful
So beautiful |
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| SantaBarbaraLife |
[27 Nov 2006|11:18pm] |
So you've heard about how Santa Barbra is freakishly cold during the winter? Well I've got news for ya--winter has begun TODAY! The sun was out and I was biking at 11am freezing my butt off. I was shivering and tembling--I WANTED TO CRY!!!!!!! 11 am!!!!!!! And for the next quarter (which begins in what, 2 weeks?) i have 2 night classes!!! I GO EVERYWHERE ON MY BIKE!!!! O cruel fate, why must you mock me, placing me a mile away from main campus, changing the weather... leading me to my demise, causing me to crumble.... resulting in my doom?!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAH!!!! so cold :'( I need gloves for christmas, and while i'm at it, i also need somebody here to hug me 24/7. There's nothing like body heat! ;)
The people here are pretty funny. Some don't really give a damn about you. Say hi and they stare at you like you're from a different planet. I always wonder how they find me out so quickly but I guess i'm just easy to read. The big battle over here isn't blacks vs. mexicans, or bloods vs. crips, or santa vs. the easter bunny...it's NORTH CAL vs SO-CAL baby! this is how it sounds:
NorthCal-ers: Gosh, why are the So-cal girls so materialistic? They're so snobby and brats UGH.
SoCal kids: NorthCal...screw them. They're just a bunch of fucking weirdos..(continuous laughter and calling of names)
....which, being the Southern Cali girl that I am, leads me to ask, "What the hell is hella?" They use it all the time!
Sometimes the battles are brutal. So-cal kids start to snicker, "They make up words to put them on a spot on the map!"
Today I met a dude from Hacienda Heights. We weren't talking about that battle in particular, but about why Europeans hate us so much. He believes it's because of gallons.
"That's right. WE use gallons. And Kilometers---KILO-WHAT?!? AWWW HELL NAW it's all about miles!"
Ah, my life here is grand. I'd like to hear about stories about college!
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